 |
The Big Kahuna - Your friends wanted to send you on an all expense paid trip to Hawaii, but after passing the hat around they only came up with $1.98. Instead of the trip, you get the the Big Kahuna. The Big Kahuna will teach you hula moves you've never seen before and some you hope you will never see again ! |
 |
Buck The Shade Tree Mechanic - He's there to check out the old wreck (A. K. A. the recipient), to a make sure that the headlights are on straight and the tires don't need adjusting. |
 |
Dr. Jerry Atricks - The Dr. is there to give her a physical exam to make sure the vital parts are working properly after all these years. |
 |
Flabio - This is a spoof on Fabio. Flabio is looking for his new romantic lover who will try to resist his advances, but can't, because she "can't believe it's all butter." |
 |
George The Genie - He's looking for a new master and wants her to audition, by having her do a belly dance that he teaches her, done to music played on a kazoo. |
 |
Luther Lovelorn - This nerd has been in love with her (the recipient) for a long time and has finally got the courage up to let her know how he feels about her. For this skit, we need information like nicknames, habits, hobbies, places that she likes to eat, places that she likes to shop, what kind of car she drives, what she does for a living, whether she is married or single, and if she's married what's her husband's name, what does he do for a living, do they have any children, and if so, what are their names and ages. |
 |
Rowdy The Cowboy (A.K.A. "Romeo Rowdy") - Rowdy is known as a real stud, but he's tired of kissing his horse goodnight and is out looking for a filly of his own. If things work out, who knows, they might just move to Alabama and get that 2 story double wide. |
 |
Vern Von Voodoo (The Voodoo Witch Doctor Of Love) - Vern is there for 2 reasons: to help ward off old age for the recipient, and to see if she can be his sacrificial virgin at the voodoo witch doctor convention. Vern knows that virgins are hard to come by these days, so he'll settle for the second best thing, which is someone who's as dumb as a virgin, and he will give her a virgin I. Q. test to find out. |
 |
Big Daddy Phatz - He's a rapper that is very bad. Since we all know that white men can't jump or rap, he tries real hard to be all that and a bag of chips. |
 |
Butch The Biker - This character is played either gay or straight depending if it's going to a man or woman, he's just spent 5 years in prison and is looking for someone to hunker down on his big hard Harley. |
 |
Elvis - Elvis has been hiding in the witness relocation program, but heard you were serving jelly doughnuts on your special occasion, so he broke out to help celebrate. |
 |
Fire Marshall Blaze - This character is played either gay or straight depending if it's going to a man or woman. Fire Marshall Blaze is there to check out some fire hazzards that have been reported and might just have to whip out his hose and put out a fire or two. |
 |
Funk-Shway - This is your 70's funk guru, there to make sure you are in the groove and have your funk on, Ohhh Yeahhh. |
 |
Officer Buford - This character is played either gay or straight depending if it's going to a man or woman. Officer Buford is there to arrest the recipient for whatever you want the person arrested for... like exceeding the age limit, going over the hill too fast, etc. |
 |
Rev. Ernest Southern (From The Church Of The Singing Telegram) - The Rev. has received a phone call to go forth and sing praises to the recipient for their special occasion. Hallelujah! |
